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Writer's pictureÆr Queen

Books to Share - They, She, He, Me: Free to Be by Maya and Matthew Smith-Gonzalez

Ær Queen


If you have had the opportunity to see one of our sessions, you might remember that we will almost always start with this book. If you haven't been at one of our presentations yet don't worry, I don't give away spoilers!


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This book is incredible in so many ways, and its apparent simplicity truly is one of the factors that keeps drawing me in.


First, the "kid" part of the book. The illustrations are beautiful, and each page includes a series of people who use particular sets of pronouns. Without spoiling too much, the people appear to be from many different backgrounds and levels of ability and disability. The images challenge many stereotypes and biases of what a typical or expected gender presentation might be: it's incredible.


Now the "grown-up" part: at the end of the book, Maya and Matthew Smith Gonzalez wrote an incredible primer on talking to kids about pronouns, gender, and the importance of having open and understanding conversations with children from a young age. They have done a great job of breaking things down, and the inclusion of this part of the book could be the foundation of an entire standalone class.


Ways to use They She He Me: Free to Be in your classroom


  1. Just read it! This might feel over-simplistic, but it has so much merit. Let your students look at the pictures and make observations about the people portrayed on each page. Let them guide the conversation and ask their questions, with a few of your own questions thrown in too.

    1. Did they see anything that surprised them?

    2. Was there anything that the people in the book had in common?

    3. Did they relate to any of the people in the book?

  2. Share the pictures without the words. This is a really great way to share the book with a new audience for a first time, and can serve as a means to start a conversation about what your students notice about the characters without the implication of gender. What do they notice about the people themselves. Try to share the images without guiding the conversation, and notice what your students pick up on from the pictures.

  3. Teach an ostinato for your students to say or sing as you proceed through the book, in between each page or new set of pronouns. Here is an example of a melodic ostinato that I really like for this text:

As an extension activity, students can create rhythmic ostinatos with each of the different pronouns. The final product can be performed as a rondo, and you could also add percussion to accompany their composition.


Obviously there is just a small smattering of what you could possibly do, and if there's something different that you would love to share, please do!



Get a copy of They, She, He, Me: Free to Be!

And Maya and Matthew Smith Gonzalez's other books about gender and pronouns, too!





Find your copy of They, She, He, Me: Free to Be here.










They, She, He, Easy as ABC, available here.












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